Baby acrobatics

Well, it's not scheduled yet, but we're going forward with an ECV- it's the "flip your baby from the outside" procedure. I'm certainly not thrilled that it has come to this., but it's the last-ditch effort to prevent a c-section, something I most certainly do not want and have been grappling with since we found out that the baby hasn't turned in any direction since about 28 weeks (stubborn little mutie!). There's a chance that there's something tethering the baby in an upright position, but our midwife remains optimistic about our chances- for a first-time mom, I still have a lot of room in there for the baby to float around in. She was able to get the baby to do a quarter turn in the office, although she didn't want to chance it because of the potential for complication.

This whole thing reminds me of a three-day field trip I took with the bio class in high school to Traverse City. Like good Michiganders, we took canoes out on the Crystal River. My partner and I got separated from the group (I hate canoes!) and took our sweet time going down the river. At one point, we came to a road that ran over the river, with the water flowing through a small steel tube that looked like it would barely fit the canoe, but certainly not us. We did what we thought we were supposed to do- we lugged the damn boat out of the water and dragged it across the two-lane highway. When we finally (finally! it seemed like days- I hate canoes that much) met back up with our class, I commented to someone about the ludicrousness of a tube interrupting the process.

"But you're supposed to go through the tube."

I looked at my partner. "Through... the tube?" We both erupted into a fit of laughter- the idea was seemingly insane. The only way through was to squash your torso flat against the boat. What do you do if you get stuck?

From that day forward, we used the phrase "through the tube" to mean anything that sounded absurd to us, but apparently normal to everyone else.

I think my baby might be observing the situation and trying to figure a way to carry the boat across the road rather than go through the tube. Too bad, kid. The tube is the way, and yes, it is designed so that you might get stuck. I know, I'm not thrilled about it either, but we're in this together.

35 weeks

and a new haircut

and a new Photoshop action (Urban Acid).

I really want to learn more about Photoshop- I look at my photos a lot of the time and wish they had the zing of a little post-processing. Maybe that's what this summer will bring- sleepless nights, baby on my lap, glow of the computer screen...

FO: Baby's First Quilt

I sewed the top/did the quilting (in one step) while watching the Grammy awards with my mom (when was that, February?), and it's been folded up in a shopping bag ever since. The idea of binding the thing was really daunting. I've never been a very good finisher, and lately I have been feeling so down that I didn't want to risk stitching a bunch of negative vibes into the quilt (like the opposite effect of a prayer shawl, I guess). Yesterday I was feeling pretty good, so I folded over the backing, figured out the zigzag stitch on my mother's machine (without the manual!), and stitched it down. And it's done.

I used a technique for sewing the quilt top directly to the batting and the backing. I have the material to make another quilt, and I'll most likely post a tutorial when I make that one.

Here's a closeup of the "binding" and my novice zigzag skills:

Growing

herbs are the new flowers


I hope these are good- I picked them for the name (who wouldn't?)


It's not easy photographing your own pregnant belly- next time I'll enlist Dan's help

FOs: Ripple Blankie and Naked Bunny

Hello!

Pattern from Mr. Funky's Super Crochet Wonderful
size F hook

How cute is this? I want to make something in particular for the baby, so I needed to dust off my crochet skills. I actually made this in less than a day (while at work, mind you), and although I don't like finishing, I did quite enjoy the crochet process. I can't wait to make more.

Pattern: Easy Ripple Afghan
size G hook

I started this in January, and then let it slide as the semester got hectic. It wasn't a very portable project, so I dropped it in favor of class knitting. My gauge loosened quite a bit by the end, so it's more of a trapezoid. I was going to keep going, as I am trapped under a mountain of white acrylic yarn, but it's just the right size for car rides and impromptu picnics. If Mutie decides that this is the blankie, then I don't want it to be too big to drag around.

May showers bring... June babies?

I actually have multiple FOs to show off, but it has been so overcast and rainy lately that I haven't had the opportunity to take pictures of anything. It's kind of frustrating, really, because all of this weather feels a month late and is coming at precisely the wrong time for my mood. I have been so down in the dumps lately, and although I know that it is definitely pregnancy-related, there still is no getting around the crying jags, the listlessness, and the multiple naps a day (not because I'm tired, but because I don't want to be awake. sheesh). We have been making appointments with all the other midwives at our office, and one of them suggested therapy. It was a well-intentioned suggestion, but obviously this woman just met me and doesn't know anything about me. It reinforced for me that I definitely picked the right midwife of the group- Trish is clinical, straightforward, pleasant, and happy to explain (in technical detail, if necessary) what she wants to do for me and why. She shares information and helps me decide for myself what I want, without making me feel like she's trying to sell me on one course of action. She didn't get a look of pity on her face (like some) when I said that I wasn't interested in hypnobirthing (seriously, it's a real thing. amazing) or similar techniques because I know in my heart I wouldn't believe what I would learn, and I don't want to invest in something that will probably fail me in the moment I actually need it to work.

If only the people at the front desk could get their collective act together and stop billing me for a co-payment I don't have. That's enough to get my blood pressure up- we've been jerked around enough this year with a forced transition to another insurance provider, which was done in stages for maximum confusion.

We had our first childbirth class on Monday. I really, really wanted it to be something useful (I am, after all, paying money to be there, and I can't give birth where I want to without the class), but, alas, it is geared toward the lowest common denominator* and has a seriously cheesy slant. The instructor kept asking what felt like questions for self-reflection (What do you do to relax? Why do you want a natural childbirth?) and then CALLING on someone to respond. I refused to answer at one point (the instructor wanted me to share what I've read about childbirth), and I'm sure I looked like a total crankypants, but I came to class for information, not to hear a bunch of strangers talk about themselves. I don't care about them, and they don't care about me, and that's how I want it. It sounds selfish, but I am the kind of person to get really wrapped up in what other people think, and I can't spend my energy on that when none of those people are actually going to help me birth my baby. It's in the interest of self-preservation that I have become a bitch, I guess. From what other people's responses were, I had nothing in common with them anyway.

If that weren't enough to make my head explode, we learned a relaxation technique that involved visualizing breathing in the colors of the rainbow. Yes, you read that right. A young couple across the room burst into a fit of laughter and had to leave the room. I was red in the face from trying to suppress my own urge to laugh or to break something, and I spent the entire exercise thinking of the group therapy visualization scene in Fight Club.

I am Jack's contracting uterus.

I feel like there isn't a place for me. I don't want a traditional hospital birth because I don't want the kinds of interventions that come routine, and I want a shot at getting through without a C-section (although the baby doesn't want to turn over yet, and I'm trying to get used to the possibility now rather than later). I don't, however, think that hypnobirthing or rainbow visualization is what is going to get me through childbirth, and more and more I am getting the impression that it's one way or another. Is there a middle ground between epidurals & episiotomies and doulas & self-hypnosis? I don't have an appointment with my (real) midwife for a few weeks because I'm rotating through all the other ones, but I'm starting to lose heart about this whole natural childbirth thing.

*The instructor seriously said that putting together a carseat is "a dad's job." Um, sexist much? And this is the ALTERNATIVE birthing center. I love the Midwest!