I can't believe that in less than a week, I will no longer be pregnant. That seems like a feat in itself, but on top of that, Dan and I will be fumbling with a newborn baby! I have been dragging my feet in packing for the hospital, but Friday is looming ever closer and I don't want to be caught at the hospital without my favorite nightgown (that's part of the problem- I don't want to pack something I want to wear all the time!).
Scheduling the c-section was hard. Really hard. It is so strange to have the mystery and excitement (and everything else) taken out of the experience. I cried a little after I got off the phone with the OB's office. I cried even more when I rewrote our birth plan. It was so hard to replace things like "We wish to have our parents present for labor, and for delivery if we desire" with "I would prefer my arms aren't restrained, and that oxygen not be delivered through a mask, if possible." I wish it weren't the case, but I am terrified of this surgery, and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. At least Dan is being a real friend and advocate, and our midwife spent about an hour in the office with me, going over the entire procedure and giving me a lot of reassurance. I'm better than I was a week ago, but I don't know that I'll be ready, even when it's happening.
So, I engaged in a little retail therapy. Sugar 'n' Cream yarn was on sale for a dollar a ball at Michael's, so I bought $10 worth (hey, it was my birthday, after all). And I cast on for a bib- a simple, garter stitch bib loosely based on the one from Mason-Dixon Knitting (but I don't like buttons on baby clothes, and my gauge is never going to be their gauge). And when that one was finished, I cast on for another.
My birthday, by the way, was nice. I was feeling pretty damn depressed, so our plans changed in the middle of the afternoon from a movie to a walk around the Henry Ford Museum (one of my favorite places to loiter). We had fondue for dinner, and although I got oil on my silk blouse (just a little) and the cake I made wasn't so great, the day ended up much better than it started. I even had the pleasure of falling asleep during a massage and reading a little from a Terry Pratchett novel. It was a welcome respite from all the baby fretting.