Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Heartbroken, and other emotions

This weekend was bad. Grandma Mae passed away on Friday, while I was at work. I really wanted to go visit her recently, and I have been thinking about her a lot, but I let stupid things like work and doing dumb stuff on the computer prevent me from driving the whole mile and a half to see her. I suppose it's a wake up call- I only have so much life to do what I want and to spend with the people I care about, and I am not going to live anymore in the service of anyone but me and the ones I love. I am sad because she is gone, but she had a long life and was surrounded by her family. She was the last of her generation in our family, even though she wasn't the youngest. She was a stubborn woman (a stubbornness that granted her ten years of life after beating aggressive breast cancer), so if she thought it was time to go, I believe her. The family has planned a fitting tribute- we're going to rent a hall, eat till we burst, cram some dessert in on top of that, and sit around, looking at pictures and laughing about that time she made grilled cheese sandwiches with the plastic still on the cheese. (But seriously, she was a really good cook, by Midwestern standards. Her magic bars were better than your grandma's.)

So that was tough, and I was already feeling pretty low on Saturday when my sister called to tell me that the dog died. The family dog, my childhood pet, called it quits after sixteen years. She was a good dog, and old. When I look at my puppies (or, rather, when I am being pinned to the ground and kissed by my puppies), I am reminded of the boundless energy she had as a pup. When we adopted her, the previous owners had said that she needed more room to run than they had for her. She was never a particularly athletic dog, but she loved to bound up and down the fence until she was pooped, and then she liked to sleep under the ping pong table in the garage. She never lost her puppy fur, and even as a big old smelly dog, she was still bunny soft, and she loved to be patted on the head. At the end, even my father, who used to joke about giving Angel her "monthly pet" would sit with her and stroke her fur. She was gentle, friendly, and patient. I loved my fuzzhead. I am glad that she lived a long life, but I'm sad to see her go- it's like watching the end of my childhood pass me by.

Secret Pal: I owe you some glamour shots of the soap you sent (I think my husband is going to steal it- he is a soap connoisseur). I've got some progress to show on the Jaywalkers and Petal, but it will wait till I feel like knitting again. Right now I just want to sit around and watch baseball with my family (yes, you heard me- I have watched a number of collegiate and professional sporting events on television. Alert the authorities- I've gone mad!).

My Life in Pictures

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I love language. I love knitting. I love photography. I love my husband. I love my daughter. I love my puppies. Reach me at vmachak at gmail dot com.

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She Has Arrived

Vivienne Beatrix

June 20, 2008
12:00 pm
7 pounds, 15 ounces
20.25 inches


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